Behind Closed Doors
by FuckTheReaper
Summary: Theirs is a forbidden love, hidden from the world, a bittersweet romance. But how long can they keep the truth from the world, from those closest to them? Piper is sworn to another, but her heart belongs to Alex. Will they get the freedom they desire, or will staying behind closed doors for so long become their downfall before they can get it? Vauseman. Blooman. Slightly AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey hey guys! I hope you're all doing well :)**

 **So, here we go. My first full length project since returning to the site. Here's hoping that you'll all enjoy it. Brace yourselves, it's gonna be an emotional journey.**

 **I was listening to Secret Love Song by Little Mix when I got the inspiration for this one. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew I had to get this story written and out for you all to read. Again, I hope you guys like it.**

 **As specified in the story's description, this will be slightly AU. Prison never happened, Alex was never in the cartel. As for the rest of their lives, well, you're just gonna have to read and find out :p I am trying to keep them as in character as possible, but there may be moments where they are kinda OOC. I apologise for that. Please don't hate me.**

 **And enjoy! Here's chapter one.**

* * *

If it weren't for the rain, the tears streaming down Alex's face would have been visible to anyone who passed her by. The stinging sensation the howling wind created on her skin was nothing compared to the aching she felt in her chest.

She gazed across the street into the window of the cafe on the corner, and watched as the love of her life accepted a kiss on the side of her face, from someone that wasn't her. She couldn't breathe. It felt as if her world were crumbling at her feet. Alex knew that she shouldn't feel this way about the scenario; she knew that Piper was just playing the part, but she couldn't help it. Seeing her with Larry made Alex feel sick to the stomach. She knew it wasn't what Piper wanted, but being the obedient daughter that she was, she played by her parent's rules; acted as though she wasn't madly in love with her best friend. She and Alex had to keep their love hidden from the world, stealing kisses behind closed doors, seeing one another when no one else was home, when their passion could run free. Piper could usually get away with going to visit Alex because most people assumed it was just her needing "girl time" to get away from Larry for a while. Alex rarely ventured over to Piper's house; it was too hard for her knowing that Larry had slept in the same bed that Piper wanted to pull her into, that he lived within the same four walls as the younger woman. She couldn't deal with the fact that Piper and Larry's "love" could be displayed to the whole world, while theirs had to remain a secret, for their own safety. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. And Alex couldn't deal with it.

She watched as the author brushed a strand of hair from the blonde's face, and her fists clenched at her sides. Her whole body shook from the rage and hurt she felt from seeing such a simple yet powerful gesture. The fact that he could touch Piper in public, that he could touch her at all, was like a knife to Alex's heart. Piper wasn't his, he had _no right_ to place his hands upon her. But then, as far as Larry and everyone else was concerned, Piper _was_ his. He could hold Piper, he could _kiss_ Piper; he could do all the things Alex couldn't, unless it was in the privacy of her own home where no one would interrupt them. Larry had freedom. Alex didn't. And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

She turned away from the cafe, no longer wanting the coffee that she'd come to order, and walked back to her apartment, seeking the comfort of her shower, and something stronger than caffeine to drink.

* * *

Piper made her way up the stairs to Alex's apartment, trying to hide her tears. Being with Larry always made her feel awful; all she wanted was to be in Alex's arms. She hated that she had to live a lie, pretending to be in love with the man her parents set her up with. She hated that he lived in her house, slept in her bed, put his arms around her, kissed her. Larry Bloom disgusted her. Yet she still played the role, to keep her parents satisfied. Because heaven help her if Bill and Carol Chapman found out their only daughter was actually a lesbian, and was in love with her childhood friend. Alex; her dear, sweet Alex, who had to endure hell every day as a result of this charade, but still never gave up on Piper. She could see the pain it caused the older woman on a daily basis, but she remained unmoved in her devotion to her. They would often lay in bed and make plans for the future, dreaming of the day that they would finally be free from her parents' hold. All Piper had to do was stand up to them and tell them how she really felt; tell them that she and Alex were in love and that nothing they do could ever change that. But she was afraid. Her parents were ruthless; they were kind enough to you, if you adhered to their conditions. But go against their rules and wishes, things could turn ugly. Piper recalled the time when her older brother Danny had snuck out to go to a party one night with his friends, back when he was in high school, after being told by their parents that he had to stay in and study for exams. When they found out, her father installed bars across Danny's bedroom window, and padlocked his door shut every night, so that he couldn't find alternate ways out. Another time, Piper had received three lashes across the backside with her father's belt, for watching the latest episode of her favourite tv show _before_ washing the dishes; a big no in her family's rulebook. Her mother never inflicted any kind of physical pain to her or her brothers. Instead, she would get inside their heads. On an almost daily basis, Carol would degrade Piper, Danny and Cal, playing on their fears, telling them who and what they needed to be to get her approval. Danny left home as soon as he was old enough to, and never spoke to them again. Cal went with him when he was of age. Piper was the only one of the Chapman siblings who stuck around. She was afraid of her parents. She was absolutely terrified of them. She didn't want them to see her as a disappointment or a failure. She wanted to impress them, keep them happy. She didn't want to cause any problems. She knew what they were capable of. She didn't want anyone getting hurt. She didn't want to lose anyone she cared about. Especially Alex. So she spent her life in (mostly) misery, agreeing to go on dates with guys that her mother and father deemed to be suitable matches for her. They never made it past the first dates, ever. They were all rude and obnoxious. And also guys. And not Alex.

After every date, Piper would find herself at Alex's, where they would laugh about the night's events; Piper emphasizing how awful she found the men to be, while Alex rubbed her shoulders and told her exactly what she thought about the "potential boyfriends" and reiterated how much she despised Piper's parents. Then they would spend the remainder of the night cuddled up on the sofa together watching movies until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Piper's parents worried for her, for years, afraid that Piper was never going to settle down with a man. Until Larry came along. Piper had no attraction to him, obviously, but out of all of the men that her parents had set her up with, he was the only one who showed her respect and kindness. He was a published author, growing in popularity, which Piper found to be an advantage. Larry had a number of book tours scheduled over the coming months, which meant he would be away for days, sometimes weeks, which left Piper free to spend quality time with Alex without interruption. She and Larry had been "dating" for six months now, living together for two. Piper had taken it upon herself to ask him to move in with her, weaving an elaborate tale about how she had fallen in love with him so fast that she couldn't wait to have him living under the same roof as her, and to be able to come home every day knowing he would be there waiting. Her parents, and Larry, believed her, which was the most important thing. Alex knew that the whole thing was a charade, but she continued to play the role of the ecstatic best friend, who was _so happy_ for Piper finally finding the man of her dreams.

Piper let out a sigh as she reached the top of the stairs and walked towards Alex's door. _Alex_. She knew how hard the woman was struggling with all of this. She herself was struggling with it too. It was so exhausting having to pretend to be someone she wasn't, just to satisfy her parents' wants. Every time she went to visit Alex, it broke her heart, because she could see the pain in the woman's eyes, could see how much she hated having to hide their love from the world. All Piper wanted was for them to be free, but her fear got in the way every time the opportunity to stand up to her parents arose.

"FUCK!" she screamed, slamming her fists against the wall. She sank to her knees, unable to fight the tears any longer. She hated this. She hated it so much.

' _Why can't I stand up to them?'_ she asked herself, as her body shook uncontrollably. _'Why can't we be free?'_

 _'Why can't I tell them I don't love Larry?'_

 _Why can't I tell them I'm in love with Alex?'_

She ran a hand over her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears, and stood up. She had to be strong for Alex. She couldn't let her see her upset. She had to be strong, so that she could be there for Alex in her weak moments. Alex needed her; she was the one who was suffering the most. Piper didn't have the luxury of feeling sorry for herself, not when her girlfriend was in pain. Alex had stuck by her through all of this bullshit; the least Piper could do was be the rock that she needed when things became too overwhelming for her.

 _'Stay strong for Alex,'_ Piper reminded herself, as she put the spare key Alex had given her in the lock and opened the door.

As she walked inside, she felt an instant wave of calm settle over her. She was home, her real home. She ran her hand over the back of the sofa, smiling to herself as she remembered all of the movie nights and makeout sessions she and Alex had shared on it. She walked over to the kitchen table and saw the newspaper opened to the crossword section, half completed. She knew Alex had left it there waiting for Piper to come over and help her finish it. She went into the bedroom, expecting to find Alex there reading, and her heart froze for a moment when she found it empty, until her ears picked up the sound of running water. Another smile crept across her face.

She undressed quickly, dropping her clothes in a neat pile beside the bed, and made her way towards the bathroom, hoping to surprise her lover.

* * *

Alex sat on the floor of the shower, trying to control her breathing. She'd been in there for almost an hour, crying over the cafe incident, and beating herself up over the fact that she was upset about it. She shouldn't be upset about it, she needed to keep it together for Piper's sake. Piper had it the hardest; having to put on a fake smile every day and pretend to be in love with someone she felt nothing towards. All Alex had to do was stay quiet and act happy for her, and then be there for Piper when she came to her at the end of those long days needing comfort from the one she truly loved. All Alex had to do was be the supportive one. Piper was the one having to live a lie every day to shut her family up. Alex couldn't afford to be upset. Piper needed her, and she had to stay strong for her.

Alex stood up and wiped her eyes, though it had little effect, and took a deep breath.

 _'For Piper,'_ she told herself, exhaling slowly.

She suddenly felt warm arms wrap themselves around her torso, and her stomach filled with butterflies. She didn't need to look behind her to know who it was. Besides, there was only one person other than herself who had a key to her apartment. She also held the one to her heart.

"Piper.." she breathed, feeling all of the tension release from her body. Soft lips pressed themselves to the space between her shoulder blades, and Piper's arms tightened around her. Her answer came out in a soft whisper.

"I missed you."

* * *

 **Ok. So there's chapter one. Please leave reviews and let me know what you guys think.**

 **I kinda feel like this chapter may be a little boring (?) to some of you. Maybe I'm just overthinking. But I wanted to try and cover as much of Alex and Piper's background (the important parts anyway) as possible, which basically explains everything leading up to the present moment, so that it wouldn't need to be explained later, and we could all focus on the good stuff, haha.**

 **Anyway. Thank you all for reading. Chapter two will be up as soon as possible.**

 **Love you all :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'M STILL HERE GUYS!**

 **I'm terribly sorry for not updating sooner, things have been crazy over the last month. I've moved into my own place, so that's been pretty stressful, and I've been adjusting to independent life, hahaha. But I'm here, I'm alive, and I have a new chapter for you patient and amazing readers to (hopefully) enjoy.**

 **Before we start though, I just want to let you all know that updates for this story may be a little over the place in terms of waiting time (though I'm certainly not going to make you wait a month again). I do hope to be able to post once or twice a week, but it will depend on how I'm feeling at that particular time. We're only 2 chapters down, but this story is taking a lot out of me emotionally. It means a lot to me, and is quite personal. So it is a little hard to write. But I can guarantee it will be written to the end; I'm definitely not abandoning it. I just felt you all should know, just in case you're ever wondering why I haven't updated as soon as you may like :)**

 **But anyway, enough rambling from me. Let's get into this.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has followed, left reviews, and faved this story. I'm blown away by the response I've received for this story already, with only one chapter posted. So thank you. I love you all.**

 **Here we go..**

* * *

"Hey Pipes, what's a seven letter word starting with p, that refers to someone who is excessively concerned with minor details?"

"Hmm?" the blonde answered from the kitchen, glancing over her shoulder at Alex, who was twirling a pen between her fingers and looked intensely focused on her crossword puzzle.

"Seven letter word for someone obsessed with detail," Alex repeated. "Starts with p. 'Piper' is only five letters so it can't be that.."

"Hey!" Piper laughed, walking towards her with two steaming mugs of freshly brewed coffee. "I'm not obsessed with detail." She set the mugs down and glanced over Alex's shoulder, wrapping her arms around the woman's neck. "Okay, seven letter word.. p.. minor details.. wait where am I looking?" she asked. Alex tapped a finger on the empty spaces at four down, and Piper shook her head.

"Well no wonder we couldn't figure it out," she giggled, kissing Alex on the cheek. "It's eight letters, not seven."

Alex smirked. "I know, I was just proving my point."

Piper playfully punched her arm. "You mean to tell me all along that you knew the word?" she asked, feigning shock. Alex's grin grew wider, and Piper couldn't control her laughter any longer.

"Alexandra Vause, you're a pain in my ass," she sighed dramatically, sitting down at the table opposite her lover, wrapping her hands around her coffee mug.

"You know you love it," Alex smiled, filling in the blank spaces on her crossword. "By the way, the word was 'pedantic'."

"Ah, of course," Piper nodded, taking a sip of her coffee.

They sat in silence for several moments, drinking their coffee, enjoying the comfort they felt around one another, before Alex spoke.

"So how was your day?" she spoke softly, acting casual, but on the inside she could feel her stomach turn. She really didn't want to hear about how Piper spent most of her day with Larry, putting on a fake smile and turning the love dial up to maximum to keep everyone believing the lie. She didn't want to hear about any of it. Really all she wanted was to go to bed and spend the rest of the night in Piper's arms, letting their passion run free, but she knew Piper would need to ramble on for hours about how much she hated being with the guy, Alex comforting her, until she felt better. So that was exactly what Alex would do. For Piper.

Piper frowned, and Alex felt her heart break. She hated seeing her like this. She wished she'd never asked the question. She wanted to go back to seeing happy Piper, smiling Piper, _her_ Piper.

"I missed you," Piper whispered, reaching out to place a hand over Alex's. Alex answered with a sad smile.

"I missed you too Pipes," she sighed.

"I just hate it you know?" Piper continued, tapping her foot repeatedly on the floor. "Like, I don't even like the guy, and he is _so_. _Fucking. Boring._ " She stood up and began to pace back and forth, running her hands through her hair. "I fucking hate it. I hate being around him. I hate sleeping in the same bed as him, I hate going home every day and finding him there." She kicked the corner of the sofa, and Alex stood up, running to her.

"Hey, hey.." she said softly, wrapping her arms around Piper, planting soft kisses on her neck. "It's gonna be okay; everything's okay."

"It should be you there," Piper sighed, turning around to rest her head on Alex's chest. Alex held her there, running her fingers through the younger woman's hair to try and soothe her.

"I know Pipes," she whispered. "I know.."

"I hate this," Piper growled, pulling away from Alex, resuming her pacing. Alex stood there feeling helpless; there was nothing she could do except to let Piper continue rambling on until she got it all out of her system. The brunette walked back to her place at the table and sat down, rested her elbows on the surface, took her glasses off, and began massaging her temples.

"I'm so fucking _stupid_ ," Piper half-shouted, and Alex heard the sofa slide across the floor slightly as the younger woman kicked it again.

"You're not stupid Piper," Alex answered in a monotone, applying more pressure to her aching head. She heard Piper's angry paces turn into soft pattering, as the woman made her way towards her.

"Alex what's wrong?" she asked, kneeling down beside her and placing a hand on her knee. "Besides the obvious."

"I'm so sick of this.." Alex sighed, fighting back tears. "I don't know how much more I can take."

"Alex, no.."

"It's just so fucking hard Pipes," Alex choked out. "I feel like I'm suffocating. Seeing you with him.."

"Then leave," Piper said quietly. "Please, leave, so neither of us has to suffer anymore." Alex turned to her, wide-eyed.

"What did you just-"

"I said leave, Alex. I can't keep doing this anymore. I can't keep doing this to you, to myself." She took a deep breath. "Alex, I love you, so much, but this isn't right. I can't stand to hurt you anymore. I think that.. I think it would be best for us, if we just end things now."

"Piper, that's not what I-" Alex began, but Piper cut her off again.

"If you won't do it, then I will," the younger woman said, her voice still a whisper. This was hard for her too. She didn't want to be the one to walk away, but she felt like she had no other choice. She couldn't keep hurting Alex the way she had been. She had to let her go.

"Piper please don't go.." Alex begged, with tears streaming down her face.

Piper stood up and made her way towards the door. "I'm sorry," she whispered, quickly turning the handle to step outside. She turned to look at her lover one last time; silent tears falling down her own face. She took another deep breath.

"Goodbye Alex."

* * *

Alex woke up in a flash, screaming Piper's name. Piper's arms were around her in an instant, pulling her as close to her body as possible, trying to calm her down.

"Alex I'm right here," she said as calmly as she could, holding the shaking woman tightly. "I'm here, I'm right here."

"Don't.. don't leave me.. Piper," Alex spoke between sobs.

"Alex baby, I'm not going anywhere," Piper soothed, rubbing a hand up and down the woman's back. "Just breathe for me okay? You gotta breathe. Can you do that for me?"

Alex's body continued to shake, but she followed Piper's directions, trying to regulate her breathing. Piper kept a protective arm around her, using the other to make gentle strokes through her dark hair. She pressed gentle kisses to the top of her head, repeating over and over, "I love you Alex, I love you."

This seemed to calm the woman down somewhat, and after several long moments, Alex's breathing had returned to normal and her body had almost completely stopped trembling. Piper reached for the glass of water beside the bed, and handed it to Alex, motioning for her to drink.

"Thanks," Alex said quietly, taking several sips before handing it back to Piper.

"Feeling any better?" Piper asked, brushing hair out of her lover's eyes. Alex shrugged in response.

"I guess so," she answered, staring down at her hands, which were still shaking slightly.

"Hey," Piper whispered, tilting the woman's chin up to look at her. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? I promise." She pressed a gentle kiss to Alex's lips. "I love you far too much to ever even _consider_ leaving you."

This earned a small smile from the raven-haired woman.

"Good," she said quietly.

"It was just a bad dream okay?' Piper said softly.

"Yeah.." Alex answered, twisting her hands in her lap.

"Alex, are you sure you're okay?" Piper frowned, turning on the bedside lamp to see her clearly. Alex squeezed her eyes shut for a few moments, opened them, and then repeated the motion, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the light.

"I'm fine," she mumbled, laying back down and turning her back to face Piper, trying to avoid the blinding light.

"Alex, please don't lie to me," Piper argued, reaching out to touch the older woman's shoulder, only to be shrugged away.

"I said I'm fine Piper," Alex argued back, trying to wipe her eyes without Piper noticing.

"I don't want to argue with you Alex," Piper sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"Then don't," Alex groaned, burying her face in her pillow.

"Okay."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Piper reached over to turn off the lamp, and then laid down, staring up at the ceiling. She and Alex remained silent for what felt like an eternity, before Piper couldn't take it anymore, and asked, "do you wanna go out for breakfast tomorrow?"

"I have therapy in the morning," Alex's muffled voice answered.

"After therapy then?" Piper pressed. Alex let out a loud sigh.

"I don't.. I don't know Piper." There was a defeated tone in her voice, one that Piper knew only too well. She rolled over and put her arms around the older woman, holding her tightly.

"Alex I love you," she whispered, placing gentle kisses on Alex's skin. "I'll make all of the arrangements okay? You don't have to worry about a thing."

"Okay," Alex said quietly. She rolled over to face Piper. Fresh tears were falling down her cheeks. "Piper I'm so sorry.. I just.."

"Hey, hey.. shhh," the blonde woman soothed, brushing Alex's tears away.

"I can't deal with this," Alex wept, wrapping her arms around herself, clutching at her sides tightly to try and stop her body from shaking. "It hurts so much."

Tears stung Piper's eyes and she felt her heart break as she watched the scene before her unfold. Seeing Alex so miserable tore her apart, cut her right down to the bone. She tried to remain as strong as she could for the woman, but tonight she just couldn't do it.

"I know Alex.. it hurts me too," she whispered, biting the inside of her cheek to keep the tears from falling. "And I am so, so sorry.."

"I'm so scared you're gonna leave me," Alex choked, gasping for air. "I can't.. I can't Piper.."

Piper took Alex's face between her hands and kissed her hard, letting her tears fall freely now. "Alex listen to me," she whispered against her lips. "I am never, _ever_ , going to leave you alone in this world. _Ever_." She kissed her girlfriend again, pulling her closer. "I promise you Alex, we're gonna get through this. No matter what it takes."

"I hate seeing you with him," Alex sobbed, unfolding her arms to put them around Piper. "I wish we could be like that.. and it hurts knowing that we can't. It hurts knowing that we can't be free."

"Alex there's nothing I want more in this world than for us to be free," Piper said softly, gently wiping away the brunette's tears. "It's all I want."

"But your parents.." Alex sighed. Piper frowned.

"My parents.." she whispered. "No, you know what?" she said, raising her voice. "Fuck my parents. Fuck Larry. Fuck them all." Alex's eyes widened in surprise. It wasn't like Piper to speak ill of her parents, or Larry (despite her distaste with him), in such blunt terms. It was both terrifying and amazing at the same time. Piper met Alex's eyes, and there was a fire in them Alex hadn't seen for a long time.

"What are you thinking Pipes?" she asked carefully, searching Piper's eyes for an answer.

"I'm gonna make things right," Piper said sternly. "I don't exactly know how yet, but I'll find a way." She pulled Alex close, kissing her with everything she had in her. "This will all be over soon, I promise."

"God I hope so.." Alex whispered. "I don't want us to keep having to live like this."

"Neither do I," Piper agreed, kissing her again. "It's not good for either of us."

"I know.."

Silence passed between them again, and the two kept their eyes on one another, breathing in quiet synchronization. Piper reached up to touch Alex's face, brushing loose strands of hair out of her eyes. Alex smiled at her and leaned forward to kiss her, gently pulling the younger woman on top of her.

"Alex, what-"

"I love you Piper," Alex breathed against her mouth, kissing her again and again, as several tears slid down her cheeks. "And I need you."

"I'm yours Alex," Piper promised, sliding her hands under the older woman's shirt to lift it over her head. "I'm yours."

* * *

Piper felt Alex's warm breath against her chest as she held the sleeping woman in her arms. She looked so peaceful; it warmed Piper's heart. After everything they had been through, it brought comfort to her knowing that she still had that effect on the brunette.

Seeing her that way gave Piper a newfound strength. She loved Alex more than anything in this world. All she wanted was to see the woman happy. She couldn't stand the thought of seeing Alex in another hospital bed, hooked up to machines, fighting for her life. She didn't want to be one of the people on the list of those who made Alex as depressed as she was. She didn't want to be one of the reasons Alex tried taking her own life again. She didn't want Alex to ever be pushed to the point of attempting again. She wanted to make Alex happy. She wanted them to be free. She wanted to share their love with the world. Fuck what her parents thought. She knew what she had to do. And she knew exactly what she was going to do first.

She placed a soft kiss on the top of Alex's head, tightened her arms around the sleeping woman, and whispered, "it'll all be over soon Alex. I promise you, we're gonna be free."

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Piper asked for at least the tenth time that morning.

Alex gave her a soft smile. "I'm sure Pipes. I've been doing this for years," she reassured the younger woman, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll see you in an hour," she said, stepping out of the car and onto the sidewalk. She poked her head back in quickly and added an "I love you," before closing the door and making her way towards her therapist's office.

Once she was out of sight, Piper pulled the car out of the parking space, and made her way down to the local park, about a five minute's drive from where Alex currently was. Her palms were sweaty, and she could feel her mouth going dry. This was it. She was finally going to do what she'd been afraid of doing all these years. Phase one was about to be put into motion.

"Now or never Pipes," she told herself.

She pulled out her cell phone, searched her contacts list, and pressed dial when she found the number she was looking for.

"Hey babe, what's up?" the voice on the other end spoke after the second ring.

"We need to talk," Piper said without hesitation. "Can you come meet me right now?"

She heard Larry pick up his keys, making his way to the front door of their apartment.

"I'm on my way."

* * *

 **So... what do you guys think will happen next? What do you want to see in later chapters? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the reviews, or, if you want a deeper discussion about it, you're all more than welcome to send me a pm :)**

 **As always, I hope you enjoyed, and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as possible.**

 **Much love xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sup guys?**

 **Ready for another chapter? Of course you are!**

 **This one is a little bit shorter than the other two, and I'm not too sure if I really like this one or not, but it serves the purpose that I was intending with it, so hopefully that's enough. Please let me know what you guys think.**

 **And again thank you for your reviews, suggestions, faves, follows, and so on. It means more to me than you guys know. I hope you enjoy this one. And if you don't like this chapter as much as the others, that's ok. I'll make sure the next one is better ;)**

 **Enough talk from me, read on.**

* * *

"Alex my dear! So good to see you again. Come in, come in," Dr. Reznikov smiled, leading Alex into her office. Alex followed the Russian woman in, and took a seat when offered.

Dr. Galina Reznikov, or 'Red', as she preferred to be called, sat down opposite Alex and gave her another warm smile.

"How have you been?" she asked kindly, folding her hands in her lap.

Alex hesitated for a few moments, trying to decide how to answer. Finally, she sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Honestly," she said, scratching the back of her neck, "not good.."

"What's been going on?" Red prompted, passing a box of tissues to the brunette, knowing she would need them.

"It's just everything with Piper.." Alex said softly, holding the box tightly between her hands. "It's getting to be too much."

"How so?" Red asked, leaning forward in her chair. Alex shook her head, and tapped her fingers on the tissue box.

"I mean.. I just can't deal with it anymore," she explained. "Lying to her parents, seeing how miserable she is when she comes to see me after being out with Larry all day.. I hate it. It makes me sick. And it's _so hard_.."

"Hard in what way?"

" _Every_ way!" Alex shouted, tearing the tissue box in half. She stood up and began pacing the room. "Every fucking way. Knowing she's out with him when it should be _us_ together. Having to force a smile every time I see her parents when all I want to do is scream in their faces and tell them how _fucked up_ they are for putting Piper through this shit. Waking up without her beside me, or waking up _with_ her there, but having to watch her leave in a hurry because she has a date with someone who _isn't me_.. Oh and let's not forget about the fact that most days I think it would be so much easier if I just threw a rope over a tree branch and fucking _hung myself_ from it! I feel like it would be the _only_ way to stop my head from pounding every other minute of the day." She flopped back down on her seat and buried her face in her hands.

"I can't do this Red.." she spoke with a shaky voice, trying to stop her tears. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Alex," Red said seriously, making the younger woman look up at her. "How long have I known you now?"

"A long time," Alex whispered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"And how many times have you wanted to take your own life, but have not followed through with it, or stopped yourself before you did anything?"

"Quite a few.." Alex said quietly, not sure where the Russian was going with this conversation.

"And what was the reason you gave me for that, every time?" Red asked gently, removing her glasses.

"Piper," Alex answered without hesitation. "Always Piper.."

"And that's because..?" Red continued, motioning for Alex to continue talking.

"Because I love her," Alex said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Because.. she makes this life worth living, even when everything inside me is screaming that it isn't. When I'm reaching for a blade, or a rope, or a pill bottle.. she's the one who makes me hesitate; reminds me that there's something worth waiting for at the end of this dark road, y'know?"

"The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel," Red nodded. "But consider this. Have you ever given thought to the fact, that maybe the reason you haven't taken that final step towards ending your own life, is because you don't _want it_ to be over?"

"I have taken that final step though once before," Alex argued.

"You're still alive, are you not?" Red countered.

Alex nodded. "Well yeah, but.."

"You tried to take your own life, and that is a very, very serious matter that I will continue to provide counselling to you for, and not something that I'm trying to disregard in any way, but just hear me out for a moment," the older woman said calmly, placing her glasses back on.

"While yes, you feel like everything inside of you is telling you it wants everything to be over, there's a small voice somewhere in the back of your mind that always manages to break through; telling you to keep fighting, that there's still more to come. And you listen and you fight back, because you _want_ to." She met Alex's eyes, and the brunette nodded, signalling for her to continue speaking.

"Because you see, it isn't _you_ who wants it to be over. It's the depression. It wants everything to end so that you don't have to keep feeling the way that you do. In a way, some might argue that it is trying to _protect_ you from future pain by pushing you to put an end to it all now. But it isn't you. You are _far_ stronger than you give yourself credit for. Your logical mind and depression are at war, and naturally, there are going to be times where you feel that you're the problem, and you will feel strange because your head is telling you that you are. It will tell you that not living anymore will improve things; will solve all of your problems. But Alex," she spoke strongly, "nothing could be further from the truth. You've made it this far, so something inside of you is making you hesitate." She leaned back in her chair, making herself comfortable.

"Fortunately for you, you have already been able to pinpoint exactly what that something is, which makes things a lot easier for the both of us."

"So what do we do now?" Alex asked with tear filled eyes.

"The same thing we've always done Alex," the older woman smiled, reaching for Alex's file from on top of her desk. "We talk."

* * *

Piper sat on the cold, hard park bench under the tree closest to where she'd parked her car, and waited anxiously for Larry to arrive. She didn't have a lot of time as it was, and quite frankly, she wanted it all to be over as soon as possible. Where _was_ he?

She pulled out her phone, about to call him again to see where the hell he was, when she heard him call out her name.

"Piper! Pipes, hey, I'm sorry I took a little longer to get here; traffic was kind of a pain," Larry said breathlessly, jogging over to her. There were hardly any cars on the road, Piper noticed, but she shrugged off the man's comment and answered, "it's okay, you're here now and that's the important thing." This earned a huge smile from the dark-haired man, and he leaned in to kiss her. Piper turned her head to the side and Larry's lips brushed against her cheek. He stepped back and looked at her with a worried expression.

"Pipes, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "You were pretty cryptic over the phone earlier.."

"Larry we need to talk," Piper said sternly, looking him square in the eyes. The author frowned, concern written across his features.

"What happened? Is it Alex? Your parents? Did something happen?" he questioned the blonde. "Is everything okay?"

Piper gave him a sad smile. She wasn't in love with the man at all, but she did admire his kindness. He genuinely cared about her and those she held close to her heart. Which made what she was about to do even harder than it should have been.

She took a deep breath.

"Yes and no.." she answered slowly, not meeting Larry's eyes. "See, here's the thing.."

* * *

"I think things are on their way to getting better," Alex said with a small smile. "Piper seemed pretty adamant last night that things would be changing real soon. I think she's finally built up the courage to stand up to her parents and Larry."

"That's great news!" Red exclaimed, closing Alex's file and returning it to her filing cabinet. "I hope that it all goes well for you. Unfortunately we're just about out of time for today's session, but I expect to hear all about it in our next one."

"You won't hear the end of it," Alex joked, standing up to stretch her legs and make her way out of the doctor's office. "Whichever way it goes."

"Positive thinking Alex," the older woman scolded, opening the door for her. "Continue to remind yourself that things will be okay, and in time it will be." She walked Alex out to the front desk and then bid her goodbye.

"Take care of yourself Alex," she called from over her shoulder in her thick accent. "I'll see you in a few weeks, same time."

"Count on it," Alex smirked.

* * *

"So you see.. that's why I asked you to come here," Piper finished, letting out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding in. "I can't keep lying to you anymore. I can't be with you."

Larry sat in silence for a few moments, blinking, and then he burst into laughter.

"Larry Abraham Bloom, what the hell is so funny?" Piper asked, her face dead serious.

"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard in my entire life," the man answered, still chuckling. "I get that you're probably nervous about being with me because you haven't really dated anyone else, but to say that you're in love with another woman to try and get rid of me? Come on Pipes, I'm not that gullible."

"Larry.."

"Piper, I get it okay?" he smiled, holding up a hand. "I'm just as nervous as you are. It's all still new to me as well. But we're gonna be alright."

"Larry, I'm-"

"Piper, I love you," Larry said softly, all humour gone from his voice. "And I want to spend my life with you." He stood up and reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a small box, covered in velvet.

"Larry, what the hell-"

"I was gonna wait until tonight to do this, but I guess I couldn't wait," the author admitted with a shy smile. He bent down onto one knee and opened the box, revealing a silver band with a small diamond in the centre, and looked up at Piper, eyes full of adoration.

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman, will you marry me?"

* * *

 **I'm not saying a word. Just gonna go and hide somewhere you guys won't find me so that I don't get murdered xD**

 **Chapter 4 on its way soon.**

 **Please review! :)**

 **And a special thanks to Metatron85 for inspiring some of Red's speech. You know what I'm talking about. Love you buddy.**


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